The Matt Rife (no relation to the genius, clearly) situation is an insult to comedy. Here’s the full story. Essentially this human made a domestic violence joke, which shocked the audience; primarily females. The joke being that a woman had a black eye because she was a bad cook, essentially implying she was hit for her poor cooking skills. A joke meant for perhaps the 1700s where men were LEGALLY allowed to abuse their wives, and there were no domestic violence laws. So is this man a time traveler? That would be funny.
Now, I definitely don’t like the censorship of woke comedy, but this is pushing it on the opposite spectrum. This Karen is Care-in’ about the DV community. There’s a difference between being easily offended and the content being outright outlandishly offensive. Would it be cool to joke about child abuse? No. So why is this ok? Many women were horrified by his special. His response to the ordeal? He doesn’t pander his career to women, his special was for men. Meaning this joke was for the boys. Which implies that men should find abusing a woman to be funny? Yikes. Even worse. Considering his followers have been victim blaming all DV survivors who are standing up for their experiences by saying a true victim should walk away and make a joke of it. Which is not everyone’s experience. Many survivors do that to suppress, suppression isn’t healing. Compassion for others and kindness is healing. As a comedian, I don’t find any humor in it at all.
I’ve come across so many people who say they experienced DV and they found the joke funny. How is a joke about a woman getting hit because she doesn’t cook well… funny? In any capacity? It is not only unfunny just as a joke, it genuinely is just simply pointless. That a woman deserves to be harmed because she wasn’t a good cook? Eh? Only men who are abusers would find that funny, or people who are suppressing their trauma, because those are the only people who can relate.
There are different levels of DV and different thresholds. Therefore the perception will not be the same. The fact someone believes that abuse humor is funny, shows their character. The person telling a joke about abuse, is evidence enough of their character. Regardless of success, as success does not equate character.
I learned from my abuse to be kind and show respect toward those who have been harmed; not make fun of the topic like others who seem to have suppressed their trauma and not worked on it. When you work on your trauma you’ll see how uncouth and horrible it is to make fun of those who are abused. Moving on does not mean suppression. Kindness is in moving forward with awareness; not allowing that same disrespect to continue. Enabling abuse is not going to solve the DV epidemic.
Zenia is a young musician, actress, natural health advocate and activist supporting movements, foundations and people who want to inform to transform the world in a positive way. She aims to help people live from their heart through the power of music, art, lifestyle changes and awareness. Her family lineage is Yoga, Meditation, Holistic Health, Education and Law.
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