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I’ve always been curious as to how the digital dating world works. My friend Elliot brought the answers to light and has some great tips that help you see the psychology behind online dating. – Zenia
Approximately 40 Million Americans use online dating as their main source to find love or romance. That’s nearly 40% of our entire single U.S. population. For those of you joining the online dating world, here are a few good tips on how to create the most success for yourself…
–In the pictures on your profile, only include pictures of yourself alone. Nobody wants to see pictures of you in large groups, they want to see what YOU look like, not your friends.
–Do not put pictures of yourself with anyone of the same sex which you are trying to attract. Viewers of your profile will automatically assume that person is a possible romantic partner and be turned off from your profile. It doesn’t matter if it’s your brother, sister, friend, etc….the people looking at your profile do not know that and will typically assume they are somehow romantically connected to you. Also, you might want to take into consideration that other people might not want to be seen on your profile in pictures with you.
–When creating your profile, be genuine and honest about yourself and what you are looking for. If you don’t, you will more than likely attract the wrong people and get the results you aren’t hoping for.
–Make sure the pictures you post are clear and up to date. Don’t post any pictures older than a month or so. People want to see what you look like now, not a year ago.
–Getting catfished is a big fear of many people online along with running into a possible weirdo. A few good ways to ensure the person you are talking to is legit include the following:
1) Talk with them at least a few days with a good solid and fluid conversation before taking things to the telephone level. Evaluate their communication skills and ensure that they have basic communication skills like a “normal” person would online.
2) Once you take things to the telephone level, don’t just text. Make sure you call them and have a few good phone conversations and really get to know each other and feel out the vibe between you two. A person who can’t keep up a good conversation over the phone won’t be able to do it in person either. Good chemistry over the phone will more than likely lead to good chemistry in person also.
3) The majority of people in 2015 have smartphones. This means they have the ability to videochat. Through apps like Tango, Facetime, Skype, etc…you should videochat with your potential lover before taking things to the final step of meeting in person. Vidochat a decent number of times and pay attention to their body language and how they present themselves in comparison with who they told you they were before. Make sure things line up and make sense.
4) When you decide to setup that first date, make sure you ensure both of you are comfortable with the plan before execution. A public venue is most beneficial and safe but not always necessary for certain situations. Ensure everything is planned out ahead of time and both of you are going to show up. Before leaving your house or meeting, call them to ensure they will actually show up and are on their way.
–While dating, ensure that everything they told you about themselves proves accurate and makes sense. If he told you he owns a dog, he should have evidence of this such as dog hairs on his clothes or in his car. Maybe pictures of his dog on his social media. If she told you she loves to workout a lot and is super fit, look for signs of fitness in the way she moves, eats, dresses, and carries herself. Fitness changes the way you live your entire life and the signs will be evident.
Online dating can often be uncomfortable for those going through it. Why? Because they don’t know how to properly ensure that the person they are talking to is real and often times fear develops. If you take the proper steps to ensure your safety and validity, you will do just fine.
Elliott McKenzie is a 30 year old communications and behavior science major studying to help make a difference in the world human interaction. A former U.S. Marine and also a published writer, he enjoys posting helpful and educational subjects on his Facebook timeline which often help strike up intelligent conversations. He lives in southern California not too far from Los Angeles so, his surroundings are perfect for interactions with people of all different backgrounds. He uses the education he is receiving in order to help others learn more about themselves and the people all around them. Currently, Elliott is in school working towards BA degree in interpersonal communications with a minor in behavior science. When not drowned in his studies Elliott enjoys writing and is currently working on his first book. Elliott’s hope is that he can one day help make a positive influence in the world around him and for the people he meets.
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