People often say that insecure women attract abusers, but that is not always true. Many women who end up in abusive relationships start off as confident, secure, and independent. Abusers do not just target insecurity. They break people down over time through manipulation, gaslighting, and constant emotional or psychological attacks. Even the strongest person can begin to doubt themselves when they are repeatedly made to feel like they are not enough.
Abuse is not about a woman’s weakness. It is about the abuser’s need for control. Many victims were once vibrant, self-assured individuals, but after being subjected to criticism, blame, and emotional exhaustion, their confidence starts to fade. They do not attract abuse because they are insecure. They become insecure because someone systematically takes away their self-worth.
Abusers use a range of tactics to break down a person’s self-esteem. They often start with “love bombing”, making their partner feel special and deeply valued. Once trust is established, the dynamic shifts. Subtle criticisms, backhanded compliments, and controlling behaviors begin to replace affection. “Gaslighting” is a common method, where the abuser manipulates reality to make the victim question their own judgment. Over time, the person who once felt sure of themselves starts doubting their own thoughts, choices, and even memories.
Many women in these situations do not realize what is happening until the damage is already done. They may feel emotionally drained, constantly on edge, or afraid of making mistakes. What once felt like a loving relationship becomes a cycle of confusion, self-doubt, and fear. Friends and family may notice a change, but victims often struggle to recognize that they are being manipulated. By the time they do, they may feel too weak, ashamed, or dependent to leave.
It is important to shift the conversation away from blaming victims and instead focus on the real issue. Abuse is not about who the victim was before the relationship. It is about what happens to them inside of the relationship. Anyone, no matter how strong, can be affected by psychological manipulation. Understanding this helps remove the stigma and allows more people to recognize abuse for what it truly is. Healing from these experiences takes time, but with the right support, victims can regain their confidence and rebuild their sense of self.
Zenia is a multifaceted artist, musician, singer, actress, and tech advisor, dedicated to inspiring transformation through authentic expression. A natural wellness advocate and activist, she supports movements, foundations, and individuals committed to meaningful change. Zenia empowers people to live from the heart, harnessing the power of music, art, lifestyle shifts, and conscious awareness. Rooted in a family legacy of yoga, meditation, holistic health, education, and law, she carries forward a tradition of healing and knowledge, blending artistry with advocacy to make a lasting impact on the world.
Listen to Zenia's Music Here!
Follow Zenia on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.
Subscribe to her Youtube Channel for new music, wisdom, prizes and information!
- What is Yoga? | The Truth Revealed - March 23, 2025
- Why Supportive Oligonucleotide Therapy (SOT)? - March 18, 2025
- The Alcohol Illusion | Don’t Drink - March 18, 2025